Bereaved parent's stigma

By talking to many other bereaved parents, I have realized that we are all ''living the same life''. By saying that I mean that most of us experience the same or similar things.

One of such things is becoming a stigma in society - this is how I realized that every bereaved parent is stigmatized:

1. You feel like people are avoiding you.

They will avoid you like you have some sort of a disease. Don't take that personally - it is their weakness and they cannot stand to look in such a tragedy in the eyes. 

2. Families with children are not sure how to act around you. They may continue sharing happy news and events about their children with you, or they will rather disappear. Anyways, it will all feel awkward and you'll always feel like not belonging to their stories anymore. 

3. You feel that people believe a tragedy ''can be passed to them''.

Many won't be able to hear what happened to you because they will have some sort of fear that your grief and tragedy can pass on to them. 

4. They just continue living their lives, hoping you can recover all by yourself. Some will just completely disappear, arriving later and wondering if you are finally ready to party with them. Those are not your friends. 

5. They don't share good news with you - you are the one to find everything out the last. You will probably realize that others have excluded you from their lives - family and friends. You will become the last person who finds out about what is happening in your people circle. 

6. If you're a woman, people don't value your pregnancy.  

Everyone will forget that you have gone through pregnancy and birth. Remember that you don't have to suffer alone - you have us. Read more about postpartum and losing a baby in this article. I truly hope you find some comfort. 

7. If you've lost your only child, others don't see you as parents anymore. 

What they don't know about us, bereaved parents, is that we still think about our children every single day. We continue to care about them in so many ways - I've already wrote a blog post on this topic. 

What can you do? The best would be to stand for yourself and your partner - always. Besides that, get rid of all toxic people from your life, if you feel that they are putting a stigma on you. Instead, learn how to recognize emotionally safe people and surround yourself with them. Read more about it in this article. 

What other situations can you think of that made you feel stigmatized in the society?