As on our website, many will put the main focus on the parents who have lost a child.
Yet, we know that the entire family suffers – especially children who have lost a sibling.
Unfortunately, their grief is often overlooked or misunderstood.
In this blog post, I want to discuss behavioral changes within children in the grieving process and offer you some useful advice as a parent or a caregiver – to support them.
Losing a sibling is definitely a specific kind of a loss for a child. Their unique way of grieving may confuse people, but it definitely shouldn’t stay overlooked.
In smaller children, parents have noticed regression in the behavior, for example bedwetting or clinginess.
Children may start to feel occupied with the thoughts of death, or even start being scared that they will die as well.
For older children, above 12 years of age, most common changes would include withdrawal or isolation, acting out or increased anger, anxiety or fear of losing others, trouble concentrating at school and grade score drop… Remember that every grieving process is unique and different – and that fact stands for children as well.
What many parents don’t know, because a child won’t say, is that they will also have thoughts related to guilt. A grieving child that has lost a sibling may start wondering was it their fault. They can also be confused about death in general. Many children who lost a sibling also claimed that they felt overlooked while their parents grieved.
What grieving parents should do to help their children who have lost a sibling is to find ways of age-appropriate conversations about death. Daily routines are always very welcomed, as I’ve said that many times on our website.
Art is great as well – creative outlets, such as drawing, storytelling, or memory books can help a grieving child navigate their loss and get rid of heavy feelings they are holding deep inside.
If you are not sure how to help your child while grieving, you can always consider professional support. That can be very helpful for healing as a family.
Don’t forget to involve children in rituals or remembrance, and encourage them to share stories and memories related to their sibling.
Creating space for different grieving styles is always a must.
Take care.
