How do trauma and loss change your relationship in a positive way?

In our blog section, I have already written about couple issues you may experience after losing a child and in your grieving process, and today, we will list and point out some of the positive outcomes for your relationship or marriage.

And while many cannot see any positive change or reason for it, I promise you that you two, if you stay strongly together, will experience these changes:

1. You will become best friends. It is true - no one will understand you better now than your partner. You will become much closer than you were before. Practicing different activities together is highly recommended. 

2. You will learn your deepest secrets. You will know how they feel and react to literally anything. And while you two may have some misunderstanding at the beginning of the grieving journey, it is completely normal. With time, you will understand that people react differently.

3. They are now the safest place for you. Your partner becomes someone you can always rely on and get comfort from. No one else will understand you better now. You are in this together. 
 

4. You two may lose some people in your life - but don’t worry, those weren’t your real friends anyway. A lot of people will vanish from your life once you experience the tragedy. Don’t be sorry - those weren’t your real friends anyway. The true ones will stay for the both of you, and now you will have a great group of people.

5. You will know what you can expect from one another and from others. This is great for setting boundaries or learning how to ask for help.

6. You will become wiser, and some will become softer and gain more empathy.

7. The meaning of life will change. Life will get a new meaning and will definitely be deeper. 

8. Spiritual awakening. In the end, one or both of you may experience spiritual awakening, especially if you like solitude and spend a lot of time with your thoughts and working on yourself. 

I always remember my first appointment with the psychology expert after I had lost my son. The woman told me something that stayed in my head forever. 

‘’This trauma will change you - either you will become your best version, or the worst one.’’

That really hit me hard, and even when I am not doing my best and feeling okay, I always remember that.

Are you willing to share how your relationship with a beloved partner changed after the loss of your precious child?

Please think of any positive change - I am sure you can think of at least one.