The holiday season can be obviously be enormously difficult for all the families that have lost a loved one.
It is not only about missing your dearest family member, but also about watching at all others celebrating life peacefully. We have already talked about bereaved parent’s stigma, which you can read more about here.
Big dates truly are the biggest triggers for us – big family gatherings, traditions, and joy, can instead amplify feelings of grief, loneliness, and sadness.
If you think that you are alone in such feelings, know that unfortunately there are many of us. I am writing this blog post with a purpose to help you survive Christmas holidays. Here is what you can do:
1. Don’t neglect your grief. It is very important that you allow yourself to feel what you are truly feeling. Don’t try to pretend and be happy because of others. We know that grief is very personal, and there is no “right” way to grieve. It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or even numb. You don’t own others to be happy because of their holidays. You have all the right to make yourself outside of everything, if you feel that way.
Fitting into social expectations is never a must.
2. Create New Traditions (or Adjust Old Ones). Modifying holiday rituals can also be a good idea. Bereaved families can rethink their ways of celebrating Christmas. It is very important that you talk openly with your grieving family members, if possible. Talk to them about how they want to spend winter holidays, if they want to do that at all.
3. Setting boundaries is a must. Especially when we talk about external factors, like friends. If you think that someone will be angry with you when you set healthy boundaries, that is exactly the person you should set boundaries with. Learn how to detoxicate your life from people who shouldn’t be in it anymore. You can read more about emotionally safe people here.
4. Honoring Your Child. Depending on in which grieving step you are, you may want to remember your child and honor amazing memories you created with them.
Memorialize their life: Create something lasting in honor of your child, such as a scrapbook, a memory box, or a charitable donation in their name.
Share stories: If you’re up for it, talk about your child with friends or family. Sharing memories can help keep their spirit alive during the holiday season.
5. How to enjoy beautiful moments? You shouldn’t feel guilty if you are able to enjoy Christmas moments. Read more about how to get rid of guilt related to that in this article.
6. Plan for Triggers And Escape Them. Learning how to escape triggers is a must for almost all parents who have lost their loved child. For many, certain songs, places, or traditions can trigger intense emotions. You might decide to avoid certain situations, or plan to take a break when overwhelmed.
7. What If You Become Overwhelmed? It is important that you stay flexible as well – it may happen that you plan it all and think that you have protected yourself from the worst feelings, but we all know that grief isn’t linear. It is good to plan but also to stay open and allow yourself to ”break down”.
Speak up if you feel isolated – join our website, art section, or even forum, and know that this is a safe place where you can share your feelings and get support.
Get some more tips which will help you to trick your brain to feel better.
