How to talk to a bereaved parent?

Have a friend or a family member that has recently loss a child? A lot of people claim that they are not sure in which ways is suitable to talk to a bereaved parent. For that purpose,

I have created this compassionate guide for communication in the grieving process that is consisted of less than 10 steps. These are enough, trust me:

1. Saying nothing can be as painful as saying the wrong things. If you think that you can “escape” someone else’s grief by just ignoring it and saying nothing, know that bereaved parents won’t take that well. Saying nothing is as painful for us as telling the wrong thing. A simple ”I am sorry for your loss”, or ”Call me if you need anything” is truly enough. People who are grieving know very well that it is hard for you to approach us related to this topic, but we appreciate when you do it in the right way – as explained above.
2. Acknowledging the pain by offering comfort or support. No expects that you sit with a bereaved parent and cry for hours. Do something practical for them – for example, in the first phase of loss it may be hard to even complete simple daily tasks, like going grocery shopping. Can you do that for them? Great, thank you so much!
3. Don’t be afraid to mention the child or use their name. With time, it is a good thing to sometimes mention their child and call it by its name. We know that our child isn’t alive anymore, but that doesn’t mean that their entire existence has vanished.
4. Always listen more than you speak. Let a grieving person tell you more about the grieving process than you talking to them about what they should do and how you can “fix them”.
5. Think about when is the proper time to talk about your problems. We truly understand that you, as our friend or a family member, have your own problems. Yet, in the first phase of loss we cannot help you as we used to in the past because we are struggling to survive on a daily basis – forgive us and understand us.
6. Forget about clichés. Always, always avoid saying clichés like ”Your child is in the better place”, or ”You are young, there will be more kids.”
7. Respecting the grieving process. Everyone griefs differently. Don’t compare anyone’s grieving journey. Respect that they can feel worse, even when they have felt better for a longer period of time. Loss of a child is a lifetime loss that comes with deep sadness, which is felt even in the most beautiful moments in our lives.
8. You shouldn’t try to fix their pain. I think this is completely clear and that I don’t have to explain it any further.

While you are here, take a look at this article as well and learn about the things bereaved parents don’t want to hear in the first stage of their grieving process.