You have probably at least once in your lifetime wondered how deep emotional pain affects us physically and neurologically, or can they make us age faster – mentally and by our looks.
Psychologists claim that pain of losing a child is unique when compared to other losses in life, due to the fact that parents are biologically and emotionally wired to protect their children. When that bond is broken, it creates a deep psychological wound. This type of grief can:
Last longer than other forms of grief
Affect identity and purpose
Trigger chronic stress responses.
You have probably heard about at least once person in your life whose hair became grain ”overnight” due to a very stressful event. Is that even possible? The short answer is – yes, although for many it won’t happen overnight.
Stress associated with grief and loss can accelerate visible signs of aging.
Why does this happen?
The body releases high levels of cortisol (stress hormone)
Inflammation increases
Cellular repair slows down.
With time, we can see wrinkles and fine lines forming more quickly, hair thinning or graying
and skin becoming dull or tired.
In simple terms, chronic stress from grief can make someone appear older than they are.
On our blog, I already mentioned that grief can also result in poor sleep and nightmares, which just adds up to your chronic fatigue and how you look.
After the changes trauma makes to our physical appearance, let’s see how it affects brain development. With a purpose to achieve that, we will have to look at the frontal lobe.
What is the Frontal Lobe Responsible For?
The frontal lobe plays a key role in:
Decision-making
Emotional regulation
Problem-solving
Social behavior.
Remember when you were young – you would make decisions easily, but not rationally. Every one of us has made a lot of bad decisions when our frontal lobe wasn’t fully developed. Science says that our frontal lobes fully develop at the age of 25, but I would rather say that it’s from 28th-34th b-day. That’s when most people start feeling mature.
Trauma doesn’t necessarily make the brain develop faster, but it does change how it develops and functions.
Yet, traumic life events can cause the brain to mature in certain ways earlier, which is an adaptive response (survival mechanism). What our brain wants to achieve here is to protect us from yet another stressful or traumatic life experience.
But, it doesn’t always ”act right”. For example, if you have experienced a severe trauma, your brain may become emotionally alert or “hyper-aware”, which leads to chronic anxiety.
So, complex trauma and grief don’t mean you will be mature earlier, but just bring altered development.
The good news is that your brain doesn’t have to stay that way forever. That’s exactly why we are practicing healing and therapy, to rewire our brains.
Discover what are the best types of therapy for trauma here.
