People pleasing – what’s inside/outside

People pleasing may appeal charming and kind, but let’s really see what hids inside people who practice it.

In our blog section, you’ve probably already came upon an article that asks you are you a people pleaser.
What I want to do today is to separate what behavior we see outside, and what actually comes from inside – or why people pleasing happen.

When we say someone is a people pleaser, we can see most common behavior including this:

1. Someone who is reliable. These people truly are reliable and won’t ever let you down.
2. Motivated. Motivated to do even more than it’s asked.
3. Helpful. In every situation, no matter how tired they are.
4. Very organized. You will never see them being late.
5. Loyal. They are always there for you.
6. Polite. Even very polite – or just, too much.
7. Productive. Working beyond the limits.
8. Caring. Thinking about everyone’s needs.
9. Attentive. You won’t ever hear them trying to put you down.
10. Understanding. They understand your problems as their own.

On the inside, there’s the following:

1. Self-critical. Always asking more of themselves.
2. Seeking validation. Some people pleasers are just seeking validation and trying to get a confirmation of their worth from others.
3. Lost. They may be lost what to do with their lives.
4. Negative self-image. Usually don’t think of themselves as of someone successful.
5. Anxious. A lot of people pleasers are very anxious.
6. Lonely. They may be lonely, so trying to find new people this way.
7. Burnt-out. They are 100% burnt out, but won’t admit and you won’t see changes in their actions due to that.
8. Lack of boundaries. This is probably the most important thing that changes everything. Once people pleasers understand that others use them, once they start seeing how much they value, and when they set healthy boundaries – it’s over.