I believe that every parent who has lost a child should write an article like this one.
While searching on the web for new topics for my website, I came across an interesting blog post that has inspired me to write on the same topic.
Thinking back about your old life and your old self before the big loss, you’ve probably realized how so many things looked and felt different in the past.
Here’s my list what I wish I knew about life before losing my child:
- Everyone you see have either lost someone, or will lose someone. I’ve come to realize that losing a loved one in life is inevitable. If you know people who haven’t lost anyone before, don’t think that they have saved themselves – it’s just about time. A grief is a journey everyone must encounter in life, no matter if they will lose a parent, a brother, a best friend, or you name it. So, the point is that I have never met a single person that hasn’t been through a tragedy. Those who haven’t yet will go through it in the future.
- You don’t overcome trauma because of pain, but because you can feel joy again. I wish I knew this sooner – what people usually don’t know is that everyone who is trying to heal their traumas isn’t doing that so they don’t feel the pain again. The pain will stay, sometimes in different forms and intensity levels, but will be there for life. You have to heal trauma so you can feel joy again. For example, you can lose a child, and then your friend gets a baby. Are you able to celebrate with them and feel the true joy? If yes, that is amazing – working on overcoming your trauma really paid off!
- A grief journey is usually a lonely trip. Don’t expect people who haven’t been through grief to understand you. What I wish I knew was spending less time with them and never explaining myself.
- I wish I’ve had taken more photos and memories of my child. This one my hurt many bereaved parents, because when you are going through a rough time, you don’t think about ”little things” such as these. Yet, numerous bereaved parents truly wish they’ve had taken more photos of their lost babies or kept anything that keeps the memory of them alive.
- I wish I’ve had known my rights and don’t allow others to treat me a certain way. I was very young and in the grief process. I wasn’t able to protect myself properly from evil people who have used the situation when I was weak. I know better now, and when I recognize some toxic patterns within people who are in the grieving journey, I always try to protect them, like I wish someone protected me back then. Actually, that’s what my website is all about, right?
Feel free to share your thoughts on this topic. 🤗
