Learn how to ask for help

Learn how to ask for help

By: Hermita
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Learn how to ask for help

In one of our previous blog posts, I wrote about tips to overcome burnout, and there I promised you to create a new blog post related to learning how to ask for help from others.

If you are one of those people who is always suffering alone, doing everything by yourself, and not even allowing others to see your ''weak'' side, then this article is definitely for you.


Why do some people don't know how to ask for help? There can be many reasons, but let's point out the most common ones.

If you always count only on yourself and always carry on your shoulders more than it is possible, you were probably raised that way - to please others. There is a popular name or definition for such behavior and we call it ''people pleasing''. So, you are carrying all that burden alone with a purpose to save others and not to bother them. 

You may be raised in a way to please others and don't know how to express your emotions, not to mention ask for help. 

Another reason may be that you have been disappointed by others so many times, that you have stopped asking for help and trust only yourself. Yet, if you are helping others in any way (and we believe that you are), you must learn how to receive help too.


This is very important to learn because that will help you with mental health and self-improvement.

Take these steps to learn how to ask for help from others:


1. Think if you have negative associations about asking others to help you. First, take a look at your core beliefs - asking for help shouldn't be looked at in a negative manner. There is nothing wrong with it. Write down how many times have you helped others. You see? Yes, they want to help you too, but you have to allow them that first.

The most important thing is to remember that asking for help doesn't mean that you are weak.


2. Create your circle of trust. Some people don't like to ask for help because they believe they'll be rejected. We believe that you at least have some people you can turn to - they are your circle of trust. Asking someone for help, if you aren't used to it, may sound challenging and even frightening for the first time, and that is exactly why you should ask someone you can trust.


3. Be clear about your needs and learn how to communicate assertively. When it comes to assertive communication, it should always be based on a particular topic and your feelings toward it. Be as clear as possible while asking for help. I know it's sometimes hard to be 100% open with others, but that's why you'll talk with people you can rely on. 


4. What goes around comes around. Received help? Great! Show your gratitude and remember that what goes around always come back around - this or that way. 


5. What happens if you are rejected? Fear of being rejected is very common among people who don't like to ask for help. Yet, understand that it truly is no big deal. I am sure that you will receive help if you ask for it, but even if you don't, think of it this way - you were going to do it all by yourself in the first place anyway, right? So, there is nothing to lose, only to gain.


Why is it important to ask for help? It is important to ask for help and to provide help to those you can. People often cannot carry all the burden in the dark times all alone. 

Asking for help and giving it when possible can save people from mental health and physical health issues, as well as from addictions and even suicide

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