On our bereaved parents website, we have realized so far that the grieving process is not only about loss and sadness, but also about starting a completely new life, or a chapter in life.
Within the process, you learn so much about psychology and mental health, as well as spend a lot of time with yourself and meet yourself entirely.
Today, I want to create a list of characteristics that represent a safe person – I hope you will find yourself in these statements, or at least people that surround you:
- Embodied. You are living in the present and can feel what’s inside you right now. Your attention is related to the details that surround you.
- Consistency. This is especially important for your relationships with others. Both of you have a pattern of consistency that builds mutual trust.
- Capacity. You are able to manage your emotions and psychological state. You don’t act out of nowhere and as a child.
- Attuned. People that surround you, together with you, should have an ability to recognize the needs of others and act that way. When I say needs, I mean psychological and emotional ones.
- Reciprocity. A safe and healthy community is always built on reciprocity, where people give and take equaly.
- Respectful. People who are safe inside are ready to protect their own autonomy and set boundaries, but that includes the others’ autonomy and boundaries, too.
- Reliability. Both you and people that surround you are reliable and keep their word.
- Taking the blame. A normal person is capable to admit that they are wrong, when they actually are. A developed mind is ready to stand behind their actions.
- Congruent. Your words and actions align.
- Repair. Sometimes, things in our life will need a little bit of repairement. It’s important that we learn how to restore what’s needed.
