When you want to give up...

A grieving journey is always a heavy burden, and as a parent who has lost a child, I would lie to you if I said that there weren’t moments when I wanted to give up on everything and finally make that grief disappear, whatever it takes.

Usually, the two hardest steps of the grieving process involve the guilt phase, as well as depression.
 

People who have lost a child want to give up on everything mostly because the death of a child isn’t even the natural way things should work - like something isn’t in the order in the Universe.
When you cannot find comfort or a solution to such a heavy burden, you become overwhelmed with tons of bad feelings. With disturbed mental health, various unpleasant physical symptoms follow too. 

All the mentioned can make you think about giving up on everything, but please let me share some useful advice and tips on how to overcome the darkest periods of your grieving journey:

Postpone your ideas. The first and the most important thing about wanting to give up is that you don't do anything impulsively, but try to postpone your bad ideas, at least. Why do I say to postpone? Because that is the first step to take when someone is planning on giving up. We cannot just say people to ignore those thoughts or to fight them because usually they don't have enough strength to do that - at least in the beginning. 

Don’t make big decisions. Big decisions, at this moment, usually won't improve the state you are in, but will rather cause more problems. Moving far away, buying a new house, quitting your job, or getting divorced, and even planning on a new baby, are not the best options when you are experiencing burnout. 

Instead, you can read this article and find some useful tips on how to overcome burnout. 
 

Friends, marriage & family. No one says this, but someone has to do it, so it'll be me. Let me make one thing clear - when you lose a child, you will be very disappointed in your friends and family because you'll realize that they cannot provide you the comfort you've expected.

With time and with different situations, you will realize who your true people are. A grief journey will crystalize who should stay and who should go, as well as help you get rid of toxic people. 

This is usually the cold hard truth, but let me tell you one thing - this grieving journey will make you be your own best friend. With time, it can also strengthen the relationship between you and your partner.

As years go by, I promise that you will feel better, but also much wiser. You'll somehow understand life at its finest. 

Think about different segments in your life. Analyze your life by segments. When you don't know what to do and in which direction to go, just pick something and work on it. For example, despite the fact how bizarre this may sound to you, start learning a new language, or craft your summer body. Those changes don't have to be big - you just need "a project" to focus on. Once you see the results coming, your entire mindset will change. This will also help you to restore self-esteem which is usually very low after losing a loved one, especially when you are going through the guilt phase. 

If you know someone who is in a grieving process, or you’ve realized that someone’s grief is complicated and that they are not coping well, check out what are some of the most common signs someone is planning to end their own life.