How to get rid of guilt?

If you've lost someone you loved so much, then you're probably familiar with the feeling of guilt. Guilt is actually one of the hardest stages of the grieving process and we have already talked about it. In this article, we will not only talk about how guilt feels in the grieving process but also about the techniques and strategies which can help you to get rid of this horrible feeling.

1. Acknowledge that you're feeling guilty. Recognizing your feelings and being real about them is the first step towards getting rid of guilt. Do you feel guilty because you've lost a child? Do you feel guilty about some things you did in the past? Take a paper and write down all your thoughts and feelings so you can be 100% sure about what you're dealing with.

2.      No amount of guilt can change the past. Yes, I know that it's easy to say this, but it's true and you'll realize that with time. There's one story I like about living in the present moment. Read it when needed:

„Two monks were walking through the desert. They weren't allowed to have any communication with women. Very soon, they came upon one woman that wasn't feeling well and wasn't able to walk by herself. She asked one monk if he can take her through the desert. The other monk said – no, they are not allowed to even speak with women, but the other took her and put her on his shoulders. Once they have reached the destination, a woman thanked to the monk. The other monk said to the one who was carrying a lady: „Why have you done this? We aren't allowed to do it. You shouldn't have carried that woman through the desert “. The other monk replied: „What woman? I don't see any woman around us.“

3.      Do you practice negative self-talk? Practicing negative self talk is also very common among parents who have lost a child. Most of the time, these sentences look like this:

„I'm not a good parent.“

„I wasn't able to save my child – it's all my fault.“

„God has punished me for something I did in life.“

„There's no point in living anymore“.

What you must understand about self-negative talk is that it's a very powerful weapon that literally poisons your mind and subconsciousness. If you repeat such sentences for enough times, you'll start to believe in them. Eliminate negative self-talk and don't allow yourself to speak in such a manner.

4.      Is your guilt legitimate? The best would be to talk with the people you can trust. Talk about the event and the tragedy. Most of the times, if not in 99% - your guilt isn't legitimate. Others can tell you that oo.

5.      Learning what we can and can't control. Feeling absolutely negative about the things we cannot control can only lead us to the physical problems and diseases. Understand what you can and can't control in life. For example, you can draw a circle, and then write what you can control inside it. Write what you cannot control around that circle and put the drawing in a visible place in home to remind yourself about it every day.

In the end, dealing with guilt in a proper way can finally lead to acceptance, learning from mistakes, and visualizing the future. Remember that these are your true goals.

With time, you'll have no other option than to accept what happened, and the best would be to learn some lessons from the past and never repeat them again. This will help you to become a better person and a better version of yourself, and grow as a person.

Vizualize the future – create plans and set goals, no matter how small. Work toward literally anything you can think of.