Can grief truly impact our identity? Psychologists claim that it can, by challenging our self-concept. For bereaved parents, the loss of a child we cared for and loved so much can leave us feeling disconnected from those roles but also from the part of ourselves.

Many parents I've met who lost a child said that they have lost a sense of purposelessness. Some also claimed how they had a hard time finding a direction in life, while others started questioning not only who they are without that person or relationship but also the entire life and existence.

On our website, you were also able to read a lot about how grief can trigger many more mental health issues besides sadness. For those who develop anxiety, grief can amplify underlying insecurities or fears about our own worth and place in the world. 

When we lose a soul that had such a huge role in our life and impact on it, we can also experience feelings of inadequacy or self-doubt. 

Usually, on the 5th step of the grieving process, you will start questioning your worth without that person, or start feeling like you never be the person you were before the tragedy happened. 

The Process of Reconstructing Identity

Can we reconstruct our identity after such a huge loss? Mental health experts claim that it is, of course, possible. It will take time, as the grieving process after losing a child is usually long.

For example, many bereaved parents claimed to feel a bit better and like themselves after 5-7 years after losing their precious child.

Reconstructing identity after a loss is a gradual and individual process - never compare your own grieving journey to someone else's. 

How does a reconstruction of identity happen after a prolonged and heavy grief? This process involves integrating the experience of grief into a new understanding of oneself. 

If you feel lost and don't know where to start, but want to work on your identity and self-image, here are some things you should consider:

Acknowledging the Change: Recognizing that grief fundamentally alters one’s sense of self is a crucial first step. Accepting that it’s normal to feel lost or disoriented can help alleviate some of the internal pressure to “move on” quickly.

Exploring New Roles and Interests: As old roles and routines shift, there may be opportunities to explore new interests or passions. Engaging in activities that resonate with your evolving self can help in forging a new identity. Many bereaved parents leave their own hobbies and don't enjoy their old interests. Know that you are not alone and that this is quite normal. 

Connecting With Others: I always say that talking to other bereaved parents in those hardest times has helped me the most. With these people, you will find comfort and validation. If you have no one to talk to, know that you are always welcome in our community. 

Keeping The Memories Alive: Don't try to forget what happened because you will never be able to achieve that but only make yourself more suffer. Instead, it would be better and definitely more helpful to find ways to honor and remember the person or aspect of life that has been lost can be a powerful way to integrate the experience into one’s identity. 

Allow Yourself To Be Who You Are: Don't forget about being flexible because no one's identity is static. A healthy identity is fluid and evolves over time. Adapt and grow when you can, and in the ways you can. Allow yourself to fall and rise again - as many times as needed.  

The Role of Resilience and Growth

It's no secret that grief can be deeply painful but what I want to tell you here is that it also holds the potential for personal growth and transformation. Many people find that navigating through loss leads to a greater understanding of themselves and their values, as well as the entire life and our existence and purpose.