Bereaved parents know very well how grief, sadness, depression, and anxiety in general can affect their brain and way of thinking.

One of the most common effects of grief is also rewired memory, but it is definitely more common within long-term grief. 

What Is The Nature of Long-Term Grief?

On our website, I have provided an e-book where you can read more about the steps of the grieving process. There, as well as from your personal experience, you saw that grief is not a linear process - it ebbs and flows, and its intensity can fluctuate over time. 

In different parts of the grieving process, you will experience various new feelings, but also body and mental signals. Long-term grief, or prolonged grief, extends beyond the initial period of mourning and persists for months or even years. For bereaved parents, this is a lifetime process which mental health experts can also call complicated grief. 

Another thing that is always related to long-term grief is difficulty in resuming daily activities and finding joy.

Okay, now that we have said a few words about how long-term grief usually looks like, let's continue explaining how it can affect your memory.

It's no secret that memory and grief are intricately connected. These are the most common things you will experience:

Emotional Overload: The emotional intensity of grief can lead to cognitive overload. When the mind is preoccupied with sorrow and distress, it may struggle to focus on everyday tasks or new information. This distraction can result in difficulties with concentration and memory recall. If you are not a bereaved parent, but know someone who is and want to help, be there for them. You can actually easily help them by providing support with completing daily simple tasks for them, for example - going grocery shopping when needed or driving their family member where needed. I promise that a bereaved parent will very cherish that and never forget what you did for them. Long-term grief makes everything hard, even completing the simplest daily tasks. 

Memory Fragmentation: Individuals experiencing long-term grief might find that their memories of the deceased are vivid and intrusive, while other memories may become fragmented or less accessible. This fragmentation can stem from the emotional and psychological strain of managing a profound loss. I have also wrote an article about how trauma affects us and changes us, which you can read more about here. 

From my personal experience, I can tell you that you can remember some things you didn't even know happened, a few years later after experiencing a traumatic event. 

Insomnia: Persistent sadness and anxiety can lead to insomnia or disrupted sleep patterns, exacerbating memory issues.

Impact on Brain Function: Studies suggest that chronic stress and grief can affect brain areas involved in memory and emotional regulation, such as the hippocampus and prefrontal cortex. This can influence both the formation of new memories and the retrieval of existing ones.

Now that we have explained how long-term grief can affect our memory, let's talk about those things we can change, or better said - how to help yourself.

One of the best ways, of course, is to find people who will understand you and to surround yourself with them. Grief counseling or cognitive-behavioral therapy can be very helpful too. 

There are some practical memory aids that can be very helpful on a daily basis. Utilizing tools like journals, reminders, and organizational apps can help manage memory issues. Writing down important information or creating routines can aid in coping with cognitive difficulties.

Deep breathing and various relaxation techniques can help reduce emotional stress and improve focus. It would be great to find a hobby, if you still don't have one. 

Moving Forward
Long-term grief is a testament to the depth of love and connection shared with the deceased. While it can profoundly affect memory and cognitive function, understanding these effects can empower individuals to seek appropriate support and develop effective coping mechanisms. Embracing the journey of grief with compassion and patience can ultimately lead to healing and a renewed sense of balance.

Navigating long-term grief is a deeply personal journey, and there is no “right” way to grieve. By acknowledging the impact on memory and exploring strategies for managing these effects, individuals can find ways to honor their loss while gradually finding their path forward.