How trauma changes us?

As a bereaved parent, you have probably realized that your entire life isn't the same since the loss of your child.

And while saying that it is not the same, I am not only talking about everyday life, but also about your ''inside world'', which includes your thoughts, emotions, and the ways you see and respond to the world.

Does trauma change a person? The short answer is - YES. What trauma triggers is a feeling of helplessness that stays within us for a long period of time. 

This is how trauma can affect you and change you - 

1. Carrying a weight of guilt and shame. This unpleasant feeling will probably appear at some moment in your grieving journey. And yes, it is also a part of the trauma. Feel free to take a look at my e-book which will explain to you how to get through the guilt phase easier. 

2. Feeling like you have experienced a spiritual or emotional death. Trauma definitely changes your mental health, but it can also make you feel like you are someone new - the feeling of letting your old self go may be disturbing for many people. 

3. Generalized anxiety personality disorder. Your fear will start to expand. GAD represents a persistent, excessive, and most of the time irrational fear and worry about literally anything you can think of. I will write about this personality disorder in the next blog post, so if you are interested in this topic be sure that you stay updated with the blog section. 

In general, trauma can trigger personality disorders. 

4. Becoming softer - living life with more empathy, strong positive emotions, and a higher sense of belief and belonging. Trauma can change you in some positive ways too - you will probably become more empathic and feel those things other people can't. You will be more gentle with others and understand them better - even if they are strangers. 

5. Maturing - overnight. If you went through trauma early in life, you will definitely be more mature than other people your age. 

6. Enjoying solitude or being lonely. A lot of times, you will feel that no one understands you completely - and they probably don't, only if they have experienced the same thing as you have. It is fine to enjoy solitude - spend that time improving yourself and working on your physical and mental health. 

If you don't enjoy solitude, but rather feel very lonely, always know that you can join our forum and find people like you to talk to. 

7. Feeling like you don't belong. Sometimes, you will feel like everyone is continuing and living their life - except you. You will feel like you don't belong to this society anymore. 

8. Trauma can affect the way you think, feel, and respond to others. As said in the 4th fact of this list, trauma can definitely change you mentally and emotionally. Your way of seeing others will also change - not always in a positive direction.

I don't like when people say that trauma makes you stronger. I think that it changes you - but in what way, it is very early to tell. 

9. Seeing the world as a constant treat. Your trauma has taught you that this world is a dangerous place and that horrible things can happen. You will feel like you are awake and can see all the threats that surround you. Sometimes, this can be mixed with anxiety or even GAD. 

10. Inability to sleep like once before. You will either sleep too much, or you will have problems with insomnia. If you have issues with sleeping, find some useful advice and tips in this article. 

+ Survival coping mechanisms. You will come up with a lot of daily survival mechanisms. It is fine to do whatever you have to survive this truly hard period of your life. Yet, I hope that you won't stay in the survival mode for too long because it can be destructing for you. 

I believe in you and know that you will stop living in the survival mode once you gain back enough strength to continue your life. Give yourself time. 

Has trauma changed you?

In which ways?