What to know about overthinking & how to stop it

When you experience a life trauma, you will think about it a lot in various ways as the time passes. For example, in the first step of the grieving process, you won't have the energy to think clearly about everything that has happened, but as soon as the guilt phase comes in, you will start overthinking all those memories and thoughts that hunt you. Overthinking is almost always linked to anxiety.

Why do we overthink about literally anything and everything? This happens because you want to plan the future, with the purpose of escaping those situations and scenarios that can trigger negative emotions. 

The main idea of this article is to help you find useful ways that will help you to fight overthinking. 

Why is this a bad habit in the first place? Because overthinking isn't helpful - it doesn't help you control your life and escape all those possible negative scenarios. It is okay to plan your life and think about everything but to overthink - no. Overthinking can usually even lead to burnout.

As a bereaved parent, you already need a lot of energy to focus on your grief journey and healing. Therefore, we must stop the things that are draining our energy.

Here are some of the best tips you can use to finally end overthinking:

1. Mindfulness. One of the best ways to limit overthinking and its negative consequences is to learn how to live in the present moment. I know that this is very hard and usually challenging for bereaved parents due to the big loss and the trauma. Some of the best experts in the field of mental health that you can actually train your mind to live in the present moment. How to do it? Some of the most useful exercises would be meditation, becoming aware of your thoughts and accepting them, as well as practicing various activities with the people you love. Take up a hobby, or sports activity you must focus on in the present moment. This will help your brain to reset itself. 

2. Controlling the emotions. Can we learn how to control our emotions? Actually, yes, and here is how. It is true that your trigger emotions and thoughts can be very traumatic and automatic at the same time, but you can learn how to respond. If you don't respond to a certain emotion and don't ''feed'' it, it will eventually disappear. So, this is a process that will bring good results with time. You have to be patient and continue watching such negative thoughts from a distance because they are actually not happening in this moment - in the present. 

3. What to do with your negative thoughts? Every time a negative thought appears in your mind, it would be very useful to remind yourself that your thoughts aren't facts. Besides that, it is the same as with negative emotions - do not feed them and don't give them more attention and power. If you try to fight repetitive thoughts, they will just gain more energy. So, do nothing about them and set your focus on something else - preferably an activity that is happening at this moment. With time, your brain will understand that you don't want to deal with such thoughts anymore and that you aren't giving them any attention, so they will stop appearing automatically in your head. 

4. Distract yourself. Sometimes, you will feel overwhelmed with your own repetitive thoughts. When you start overthinking and don't have the energy to work on your mental health, just distract yourself. Play with your dog, exercise, or sing. When you sing, your brain cannot think about anything else - remember this very well. 

5. Face your fears. As a bereaved parent, I understand that your overthinking happened due to real tragic and truly unpleasant life situations. Yet, as with generalized anxiety, overthinking can also become generalized, so with time, you catch yourself thinking about the worst scenarios about literally every little thing. What can be helpful for this problem? Meditation - visualize your fears. This will make it clear what is a real danger or potential threat, and what are generalized negative thoughts that come from anxiety. 

6. Question your thoughts. Question negative thoughts that appear through overthinking by asking yourself - are those real? Can they really happen right now, at this very moment?

7. Think about time limits. If you are someone who thinks a lot by nature and worries from the earliest years of your life, that is by now probably a part of your personality. What can be helpful here? Set time limits when you will worry. For example, sit down with your own thoughts for 30 minutes per day. Take a paper and write everything down. This will help you to clear your mind and live the rest of the day without automatic repetitive thoughts. 

8. Create a new perspective. A new perspective will help us to understand and accept that we cannot predict the future, no matter how much we think about it and worry. 

As you can see, sometimes, when we have energy, we will use a proactive approach to fight overthinking. Some people find this useful and more effective, while others claim that the ''passive'' approach to their repetitive thoughts has brought more results. Try both ways and you will find what helps you more to get over overthinking. 

Do you have your own tips on how to fight repetitive thoughts and overthinking in general? Feel free to share them with us and others in the comment section.